Hearing Loss and Relationships: Communication Strategies for Couples
Hearing loss, whether mild or severe, can cause significant communication difficulties for the individual with hearing loss and the people they are communicating with. Hearing loss typically affects the clarity of speech. This means that people with hearing loss can often hear that you are speaking to them, but they miss a part of some words, making it seem as though you are mumbling. Often, this can lead to the individual asking you to repeat yourself frequently saying “what” or “pardon” or it may even lead to misunderstanding.
Emotional and Relational Consequences
Communication breakdowns due to hearing loss can cause individuals to feel embarrassed, tired, frustrated, and depressed. For couples, dealing with hearing loss in one or both partners can make communication tense, often leading to more arguments if the hearing loss is not treated or managed well. It is common for most couples to not even be aware that it is hearing loss at the root of their communication problems. Some people in relationships may begin to feel as though they are being ignored, arguments can become more frequent, and one partner may blame it on “selective hearing”.
Developing New Communication Strategies
These difficulties are often avoided for couples who are willing to formulate new communication strategies and techniques to overcome the problem. Firstly, if you are concerned about your partner’s hearing or feel as though they may not be hearing as well as they did, encourage them to book in for a hearing test at their local, independent hearing clinic. Hearing tests are quick, effective, and non-invasive. It is important that your partner’s hearing is monitored over time, and they are provided with the right management strategies for their hearing depending on their hearing test results. When hearing loss is well managed, this can help communication to be more successful.
Effective Communication Tips
If you or your loved one is dealing with hearing loss, it is important to learn how to communicate effectively. It is always beneficial to gain your partner’s attention first. Tap them on the shoulder or say their name before speaking. This will help the individual to stop missing the beginning of what you are saying so that they do not have to ask you to repeat yourself as often. It is also important to face your partner when you are speaking and try to remain face to face during your conversation. It is not helpful to talk to your partner from another room or whilst you have your head in the fridge or a cupboard. A person with hearing loss benefits from being able to see your mouth whilst you are speaking as well as your facial cues. They will also hear more clearly the closer you are to them, so try to reduce distance and speak clearly.
Minimising Background Noise
It is essential to remember that noise can make it more difficult for a person with hearing loss to hear clearly. Noise can be any sound that is not the conversation you are trying to hear. For example, if you are trying to have a conversation at home, noises such as the television playing, the kettle boiling, the dog barking, and the fan blowing can all be distracting noises that make it harder for an individual with hearing loss to listen to conversation. When you are having a conversation with someone with hearing loss, try to reduce background noise as much as possible such as turning the television or radio off before you begin speaking. It is also helpful to remember that this noise can be very bothersome when you are out at a restaurant or bar. Your partner with hearing loss may benefit from choosing quieter environments such as a table outside, away from the kitchen, and in a well-lit area so that they can see your face. These noisy environments can even be difficult for those with hearing aids, so it is fundamental to remember to be patient with your loved one. You may need to raise the volume of your voice, speak more slowly, or repeat yourself more frequently.
Supporting Each Other in Communication
Remember that communication is a two-way process. Whether you have hearing loss or not, the speaker and the listener need to take responsibility for clear and effective communication. Do not forget to ask your loved one how you can support them in communicating most effectively.